An old adage says that with age comes wisdom. In wisdom, I have realized that I have made many choices in the past that I would rather not have made. There were many mistakes that I would rather have not committed. There were many words that were uttered that I would rather have not said. But what transpired in the past, developed to what and who I am now.
Admittedly, I have wasted years pursuing the wind under water hoping to hold it in the palm of my hand. I wanted to be someone that wasn't meant for me. But it was what I wanted for that time being, anyway. Without proper thought and consideration, I jumped into a muddy lake, blurring the vision that was truly intended for me in the process. And in that muddy lake I swam hard, dove deeper and surfaced once in a while just to catch some needed air. Then repeated the process all over again. All along thinking that that was the best thing for me.
But I was wrong - dead wrong. What seemed to be the best for me was actually the worst. What I want was not nesessarily the best but I would have not known it if it weren't for the Almighty opening my eyes to the truth. Now, I will not go spiritual here although it is my intention to head that way because I want to show how important it is to obey the will of the Father no matter how hard it may seem.
We all have bills, rents, loans and credit cards to pay and not to mention our daily necessities. And without a job, all of those would look like a goliath. Pragmatically speaking, we need an income to cover all of those holes. We rely on our jobs or our businesses to help us get through and pay the bills so we can use them again. I do have a point here, just bear with me.
I am standing before this very giant at the moment and it is intimidating. If I am to let go of everything and plunge forward, I will definitely be "killed". But if I am to hold on to what I have now, I may never know what God has in store for me. God is telling me to let go. There are may circumstantial evidences that support this claim. I also have a biblical reference for that matter. And deep within me, I know I must obey but I cannot. Why can't I? Because I am afraid. I am afraid of the unknown. I am scared that if I let go I can fail and then I won't know what to do. I am scared that if I let go and I am not be able to accomplish what I needed to accomplish, I will be left with nothing. And that's when it struck me. I rely too much on myself. Sure I can be a lawyer, a doctor, a financial advisor, or even a pastor. I could buy a jeep or a tiburon. I could probably get a mortgage. I could get the things that I want but for what? For happiness? Will it last? For peace of mind? Will it last? In the words of the Teacher, Son of David, "Utterly meaningless! Everything is utterly meaningless!" Harsh, maybe, but definitely true. Now how does obedience comes into play here?
As I mentioned earlier I am afraid, so that makes obeying God harder, but I do acknowledge that is is extremely important. I do want to make sure that everyone understands this, that obedience may have something to do with our living here on earth right now but it plays a big and major role on where we will be standing on the afterlife (hence the adverb "extremely"). Disobedience, after all, was the first sin Adam and Eve commited.
But I will not go on and discuss about the afterlife. I will tackle the "here and now" (on my next writeup) but I do want to leave you with a little thought. As much as my back was hurting this morning, I forced myself to prostate before God and worship His majesty. I cried before Him like a scared child crying to His father. And one of the assurances that He gave me can be found in 2 Chronicles 7:17. Now this is an "if statement". Meaning there is/are condition(s) that must be met first and in this specific verse the conditions are 1. walk before God 2. do all what He commanded and 3. observe His laws and decrees. Easier said than done, isn't it?
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